An Entry from my Diary.
I love to journal. I try to journal everyday when I feel inspired by something, angered, sad, bored; but I know that's not everyone's cup of tea. However its the best method for me to remember moments or emotions because I'm scatter-brained and wacky (I'm easily distracted by playgrounds). I'm also taught lessons from old journal entries, so I'll share a journal entry with you from June 25, 2014.
Context: Around this time I didn't have much self-love and was trying to figure out how to have more self-worth. I was lost and not the good lost either, and I didn't like to talk much to people about how I felt. So it remained repressed and unacknowledged, which is always unfair to your emotional and physical well-being, so I began to journal and workout. I mean like everyday wake up, go to work, journal,eat lunch, journal outside, leave work, workout (for hours), and journal.
In doing so I found that my journal entries became more vulnerable and honest, I kept it real with myself and I didn't always like what I had to say. However by June I was better. I knew that I had to learn how to love myself and encourage myself in order to not only strengthen myself, but to better person to others. In knowing how to treat yourself with love, kindness, and respect, you're more equipped to give love, kindness, and respect to others. And for me, journaling did a darn good job of holding me accountable.
Journal Entry June 25, 2014
I'm learning how to handle my emotions better. I need to start learning how to love me more! I look in the mirror until I feel beautiful then I carry on with my day, for if I wake up feeling ugly than I've ruined my whole day for no reason at all. We're all beautiful. Everyone. Not enough of us recognize it because no one has ever told us, including ourselves. Once you truly began to embrace self-love than you will never know any other love to such a great capacity. Self-love is the best love. How can anyone love you if you don't love you yourself.That's what I tell myself when I feel lonely for a companion. I'm my own companion, my own lover, teacher, friend, sister, mama, cousin. First. And from there I can love them (lover, teacher, friend, sister, mama, cousin) so much more because I know my love stems from me, not an external source. What a beautiful thing it is becoming. Sometimes its hard, but I keep going because I'm eager to know a feeling I've never felt before. I want to experience a love unknown that can truly last a lifetime. I'm committed to loving me then I can give others the love they deserve and amplify it more times than they thought were possible. I can't wait to love you. Whoever you may be. But it will be relentless, unleashing, free love...all stemming from me.
-Ebony N. Archie