Self-Love Series Day 5: Laura Part II
To finish out the first week of our Self-Love Series is the second half of Ms. Laura's reflection of self-love! If you missed Part I be sure to read it first! Again, all of the artwork was created by the contributor herself.
Self-Love Series Day 5 Part II:
When Ebony offered the opportunity to reflect on the concept of self-love, I began ‘watching’ for signs of self-love during the commute. The truth was that negative thinking blocked my ability to be loving during these moments. In fact, the negative thoughts were in violent conflict with how I actually want to connect with myself. And how I connect with myself for much of the rest of the day is prejudiced by the first hours of my morning because these kinds of thoughts give me a poor self-image, for I feel bitter and overwhelmed and scared of the world. Eww….
The key to acting more lovingly has been to ‘watch’ my own thoughts and step back from the drama being created by complicating a situation with negativity. Negative thoughts do not own me, they come and go and how I choose to honor or abandon a thought affects my inner space. Somehow, during the same commute and first hours of my day, it is possible to feel better about the world. I have a choice to connect to myself in a loving way inside, softening my heart, simplifying the situation to what it is instead of causing a problem out of it. I like the idea of being given a choice in what comes out of my thoughts in these moments. The intention is to start the day more positively, which I trust is more constructive to my heart and my potential in the world.
The thing to realize when it comes to practicing self-love, is that there is a back-and-forth tendency towards triumphs and misadventures in ways of being self-loving. Life’s moments are filled with lessons of both positive examples and failures toward self-love. For me, throughout the day, I am simultaneously the person of disasters as well as someone who reveals accomplishment at practicing self-love. My thoughts change moment to moment, and thereby my actions. Sometimes I am gentle with myself, but there are times I lack inspiration. Sometimes my heart is open and calm, while other moments I feel great fear and weakness. Is it not this ever changing success and tragedy of the experience of self-love that points to much of life’s bliss or pain?
In my little world of the two hour commute, some days I may not help but dread the time and the traffic. But always the intention is not to get caught up in crazy spiral of negativity. I’m a work in progress…. I repeat over and over, “Please, God, help me to be loving”.
Here’s wishing all you SavvySunflower readers a heart of brave acceptance and fearless positive energy towards the path to self-love. May you step towards your bliss and find infinite kindness, motivation, buoyancy and calm faith inside yourself.
About: Laura is a librarian at Auburn Avenue Research Library on African American Culture and History with Fulton County in Atlanta, GA. She is known for doodling on walls, carrying rocks with good energy in her pockets, and daydreaming with window-prismed rainbows. Her greatest goal is to surround her heart with that which softens, supports, and nurtures, while the letting go of anything non-divine. For Laura, cloud watching nearly always leads to self-loving giddiness and a sense of deep solitude.
Thank you to every woman who contributed to the first week series and to everyone who time out their day to read and share in their triumphs and struggles. Be sure to look for the beginning of next week's contributors on MONDAY!
You guys are awesome and give me something to look forward to each day this month. If you're just now joining or missed some days be sure to check out the other self-love posts their all so enriching.
As always, Peace and a whole lotta' Love