Self-Love Series Day 3: Jasmine Moore

Self-Love Series Day 3: Jasmine Moore

Accountability. In theory, it’s an easy practice. In real life, however, it’s a word we throw at other people when we’re telling them how to live their lives. And, as much as we hate to admit, it’s a word we should probably apply to our own, but are too scared. Whenever the phrase “self-love” comes up we jump right into “self-care”, which is just self-love translating itself into the physical realm. For a lot of us, its extravagant trips, buying that dress you’ve always wanted, or trying that expensive bottle of wine you had one time at the company benefit dinner. It’s nice. You create the illusion that you’re taking steps towards creating a more positive environment for your newly self-loved self to prosper.

I’ll admit, to some degree, it’s true. But, let’s take a moment to ask ourselves which is harder? Buying a new dress, or cutting off that “friend” who always seems to bring more negative energy than positive energy to the friendship? Going to get your nails done, or sitting down with your significant other and talking about the needs that aren’t being met in your relationship? We all know the answer. I mean, it’s great for your car to have a wash and oil change when it’s time. It helps the car and it’s relatively inexpensive but what happens when you actually take the time to look under the hood? What more expensive and time consuming repairs do you think you’ll find? So now, let’s ask the question of what does self-love and self-care mean when you stop running form yourself and take the time to pop the hood so you can begin to cultivate healthy environments and relationships?

This is where accountability comes in. Yes, spoiling yourself is wonderful when you have the means, but are you holding yourself accountable for your emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental well-being. What good is a physically better you when you have not created the proper environment to thrive in? Buying new clothes that make you feel confident seems pointless and redundant if the source of the attack on your confidence are the people with whom you choose to surround yourself. Taking accountability for the quality of the different environments, people, vibes, and energies you allow into your personal space is where the real work begins.

This is the stage before the yoga poses on Instagram, the Twitter threads on how to have a thousand dollars in your savings account in three months, or the Facebook articles about how “Cutting Your Hair is a Power Move” It’s the stage where you cry a lot. You question yourself and the “why” behind not only your actions, but your reactions as well. You reassess relationships and habits. Their worth and their meaning. You determine if the value of those relationships and habits are worth the cost of the energy and time you invest in them. Once the groundwork is laid, its then time to apply that accountability maneuver to your actions. It’s time to get the scissors and water to cut the things that don’t serve you out of your life, and nourish the things that do. That includes the parts of yourself that are toxic to you and others.

That’s right. Holding yourself accountable for the exterior forces you allow to affect you is only half the battle. The other half is you holding yourself accountable for the way your interior affects your exterior. Being toxic to yourself and others only creates space for you to attract other toxic forces or sabotage the positive forces in your life. Accountability of your effect on people is crucial when starting your journey. Understanding self and breaking toxic cycles is the true beginning of self-love. It’s heavy work, but it’s worth it.

When you pop the hood to your car and take the time out to roll up your sleeves and do the repair work, you then have full range to drive to your next destination with the knowledge that you’re in great shape. You know you are beyond capable of getting to where you want to go without breaking down. That is the self-love in full effect. Hold yourself and those around you accountable and your environment will become a place of genuine love and growth. You’ll forever be changing and evolving, and the need to pop the hood before you go on your next journey of self-discovery will always be there so take heed. A better you is just a road trip away from where you are, so grab your tools and look under the hood. It’s worth it in the end.

Jasmine Moore is a 23 year old poet, actress, and writer from Shreveport, Louisiana.